Lotus of the Heart > Path of Spirit > Godly Grief and Confession

 
 

Coming Out of Hiding

On Godly Grief

Mar 2, 2009

Saying For Today: What I felt as I knelt, was a godly sorrow for my not showing the compassion and mercy I had needed to on many occasions in my life.


Lenten Meditations 2009

Today's Scripture

When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees.

*Genesis 3.8 (NLT)

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

*II Corinthians 7.10 (ESV)

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First, let us take a look at that passage II Corinthians 7.10. Then, I have a story to share.

"Godly grief" is something we can have without any "regret" later. This reminds us that sometimes we need to feel hurt over a personal matter of sin. That is right: "sin." We all commit it, so, let us all admit it. Most of us are neither worse than we have thought nor as good as we have thought.

Bad psychology and terrible spirituality is a glossing over this needing "godly grief." The "grief" feels, well, like grief - and that is not pleasant. Yet, the relief of being able to feel such sorrow is a healthy and liberating feeling. Can we exclaim together about this kind of "godly grief," the exclamation: "Good grief!" ... Okay, now we can proceed.

This writing is on "godly grief," which leads to "repentance": a healthy, holy, and blessed redirection. That is another good thing about "godly grief" - it sure beats repeating the same will-never-work thing over and over, and it sure beats keeping on pointing our blame finger at someone else.

Sure, you are right, not all grief over wrong is godly. Some apparent sorrow over sin is simply a show. If a person does not show evidence of being willing to change, the sorrow is not godly, but part of the hiding game - hiding behind a facade of apparent-but-not-real sorrow.

Let us assume there is a God, a personal Being - not just some impersonal life force. Now, how do you feel about someone not being real in their dealings with you? You are personal, so that personally does not sit well with you. Right? Then, how would the personal God think about our faking "godly grief" - as though we can pull one over on God? Certainly, it would get us nowhere. But our being honest would sit very well with such a God? Yes.

Indeed, is it not logical to assume the moral nature of the Creation, since Nature would mirror the Creator? Is it not, then, logical to assume Nature honors "godly grief"? And can we not, then, conclude, logically: "Godly grief is a natural thing to experience"?

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I discovered a nice path through woods near my home. This path is ideal for my dogs and I to go walking. Daily we do. Today, I played a game with them on the walk, one we usually play in the home. The game is what we called hide-n-seek when I was a child.

Today, I would hide behind a bush, while the dogs were walking or running ahead a distance. I would call out, "Where's Papa?" St. Francis, my black lab, who likes playing the game, would come running, looking for me. Of course, when he found me, he acted all happy, and I did, too. Acting like a great miracle just occurred is part of the fun.

Playing a hiding game can be fun, yet, hiding can point out a need for us to come out into the open. We can hide for the wrong reasons. We can, for example, hide from someone, while we refuse to communicate with the person. In Family Therapy this is called a cut-off. Usually, a cut-off is not a healthy or mature action and needs to be addressed as such. A cut-off does not, most often, solve any problem and keeps in place the relationship issues. Psychology 101 - We cannot hide ourselves to emotional or relationship health.

Spiritually, the same applies: We cannot hide ourselves to spiritual health. Possibly, due to being judged earlier in life, we form a defense against the openness to deal with our moral and relational issues. If we risk dealing with them, we fear feeling the same shame we once did and the futility of not being understood. I do not, hence, mean to diminish the sincerity of many of us who may struggle to come out of hiding and get honest with others and God.

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We see a universal pattern within the story of Adam and Eve. What happens after eating the forbidden fruit? They hide. They do often what we do: "Okay, I just don't want to deal with it. I shouldn't have to, and I've got enough problems as it is. He (she, God) want understand, anyway." . . . "Alright, I know I should not have done (said) that, but, I'll just not deal with it, and maybe it'll go away." Or, "... After all, if no one knows, it want hurt anyone but me." Hey, you and I know these hidings are not workable in real life. Right?

Now, sometimes we need to come out of hiding with God. We need to own up. I had that experience even this morning. We have some land that has been cleared, so we can have a place for the community kids to play ball. On Sunday mornings I walk out on it and pray, and I pray God will use it for His honor and for the good of the children.

Well, today, we were getting strong winds and rain began to fall. I, still, did my walk. Out on the land, I felt a need to kneel down. I was a little shy, wondering who might be able to see me. But I knelt anyway.

This morning I was to preach on mercy. So, that matter was on my heart. What I felt as I knelt, was a godly sorrow for my not showing the compassion and mercy I had needed to on many occasions in my life. I was almost in tears as I bowed with a strong feeling of saddness in my heart.

Later, I led worship. I preached on mercy. I had lived through my own coming out of hiding in preparation - a coming out that had been in process for several months - to share with my people the need for us all to grow in grace and mercy toward other persons.

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Yes, thankfully, we can share with Spirit things we would not want anyone else to know. We can come out of hiding with God. We can feel assured God understands and has mercy upon us. We can be assured God knows our sincerity, even on times we came up short on acting graciously and compassionately.

There is something healing about confessing up. Sure, it does not feel great to say, "Okay, I'm guilty." We, however, can only experience Grace through our courage and love to come out of hiding and be available to make amends where such are due.

Do you recall the relief you once felt when you confessed something you were hiding from someone, or God?

What are the thoughts and feelings that might discourage our being open to confess to or be honest with someone, or God?

Is there something you need to come out of hiding about?

Is there someone you are hiding from - have cut off -, and you need to reconnect?

Can we try to hide from God religiously? How might we use religion or spirituality to hide from God?

Are you hiding from God and need to deal with what you need to share with God?

When was the last time you felt contrition ("godly grief") for something you did, said, or a pattern of behavior in your life?

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*This writing ministry is the offering of Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida, a Pastor in the United Methodist Church, and Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Jail, Punta Gorda, FL. To contact Brian, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .

 

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